mercy and intimacy

i have an old friend who is moving to another state. she's someone i've known and been really good friends with since 1985, or so. i will miss her and her family deeply. it's a mercy gift that i have several friends that i've been blessed to know for that long. that's one of the reasons i came to live here in a community setting, 1000 miles from my home state. i grew up in an alcoholic home, moved and changed schools so many times that i went through my early twenties feeling like i'd been completely gutted-out emotionally. i was dying inside, losing my grip mentally, and desperate for relational and spiritual intimacy. i told myself that i had to go someplace where people wouldn't keep leaving. if they stayed in the same place long enough, and i stayed too - they would have to get to know me. i would be found out, whether i liked it or not. and since they were christians, they'd have to forgive me, love and accept me... it hurts to have one of those dear friends move on but, ultimately, each one has always pointed me to the One that is so intimate in His love that, at times, it can even be uncomfortable - as in my favorite Psalm: 139. but i'll trade that horrible, gutted-out sensation for a sometimes uncomfortable, intimate relationship with my Maker, any day.